Coming from a person who has had her life planned out since she was five, change and the unknown is something that is so very scary. Ever since I was little, I have dreamed and believed that I was going to grow up to be a vet and as that becomes closer and closer, there are things that are blocking my way and making me look for a plan B. I have NEVER been the person to have a plan B. The idea of having to follow a plan B was so inconceivable that I refused to even think that it could be a possibility in my life. But I have found that my lack of test taking skills are proving to be more of a problem then I perceived in high school. It wasn't for a lack of trying, or in this case lack of studying. I literally book a study room for more than half the day and would spend most of my time using different study methods to try and prepare myself for the test. This process wouldn't just start a couple days before, this was a continual process from the day the semester started. Soon after being forced to read the writing on the wall, I realized that this too was life giving me lemons. If it weren't for my lacking qualities, I would have never found or even considered, researched, or pondered the fact of being an Animal Nutritionist or the fact that I quite enjoy the practice. And because I was forced to look for a future elsewhere, I was able to gain some important contacts within the field that can and will prove to be important.
This whole situation may seem so small and not very life rattling, but that it did to my life. If you are as goal oriented and singularly path walker as I am, you will know that for something so very big and monumental in my life changing altered my way of thinking for a few days. Being a vet has been one of the largest rocks in my life. I could always count on my plan for my life and that was something that could and would never change. And when that started changing, I felt like my world was crumbling beneath my feet. I wasn't sure what to think. I started to second guess all the decisions I had made in my life and the ones that I thought I wanted to make for my future. For the first time in my life, I wasn't sure. I wasn't sure what my next step was going to be. And as strange as it sounds, I kind of felt like my identity was slipping. But most of all I was scared. As a very OCD and futuristic minded person, the idea of something like that was monumental.
What scared me more than the change, strangely enough, was the thought of disappointment. For as long as I can remember, my mom and dad have introduced me as their daughter who loves animals and was going to be a vet one day. Especially in the last few years, every time that I was introduced to one of their acquaintances, I was their eldest daughter who is currently a pre-vet student at Utah State University. Needless to say, it circles back to my plans being a big part of my identity. I was worried that I would let my parents down if I abandoned the idea after all these years. But more than anything else, I was worried about disappointing myself. I was worried that if I switched my major and not even attempt to apply for vet school, that I would regret my decision later on down the road. I didn't think that I would be able to live with the fact of not knowing what could have happened if I had stood steadfast on my course and applied to get my DVM.
For almost a week, I felt like my world had been flipped upside down and that all the things that I have come to know and count on vanished with the solid ground below my feet.
But you know what? It worked out.
Like most things, they seem bigger than they really are when you are stuck in the middle of it. The mistakes and decisions we have made along the way have seemed so consequential. What we can't see while we are in the thick of it is what kind of consequence it is. All growing up, my momma said that there is always a consequences to our actions, some good and some bad, and sometimes we have to make decisions in this life and stand by them and suffer through what ever consequence comes our way.
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.
Alone, lemons are bitter and make a persons' face contort in all sorts of disgusting directions. But if you add a little sugar and water, those lemons can be the sweetest and most refreshing things in the world.
And that is just what I had to do. I had to take those horrid lemons, add a little sugar water, and make the best of what was being handed to me. Instead of letting all of my fear and worry overcome my whole being and distorting my thought processes, I had to step back, draw it out, and think. I had to think about what it was that I truly want in my life. I had to think about where I wanted to be in 5 to 10 years. I had to think about what it would take to make me happy.
Low and behold, beyond all odds, a conclusion came.
I would stick my fingers into many pies. I would stay the major that I am currently in right now, but I would streamline the classes I would take. By removing all the excess classes that were just credit fillers, I was able to fit in all the classes that I would need in order to go directly into the nutrition graduate program. Not only that, I will still be able to apply to vet school with an emphasis in nutrition. Despite what others told me, I was able to have the best of both worlds.
Lemonade people. Freaking lemonade.
Now I know that this post, and more than likely many more to come will have very little ties to the FFA organization, but the way I see it, it is through the life of others, that we are able to learn. So if this is able to help one person out of rut that they can't seem to get out of, that is more than enough. But more than that, even outside of the blue jacket the motto still stands true.
Learning to Do,
Doing to Learn,
Earning to Live,
Living to Serve.
All the things that we do in and out of the jacket keeps us learning, doing, earning, and living. And the way I see it, my blog is just cataloging me doing so as I go. So don't be afraid of those lemons and consequences, mixed with a little sugar, they make us the people that we are today.
Making Lemonade,
McKenzie
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| Basset Hound. Amazing kitchen with that sexy kitchen range. Yep my life in 10 years right there. |
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